Resurrection of Crazy Jane Pt. 03


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The third installment of our tale… please be sure to read the first two or none of this business will make sense.

Also, when I first uploaded, I accidentally had several paragraphs from chapter one on the front of it and didn’t catch it. If you gave a low rating because of that, please be awesome and re-rate?

I said before the start of chapter 2 that I don’t need your praise. Turns out that’s a damn dirty lie!


“Oh my God, is that you?” she said, looking at me with a huge smile. “Damn, you got hot!”

I looked at Misty, dumbfounded. Then I immediately looked behind me, assuming she was talking to somebody else.

At one time, she was my crush du jour. The one I obsessed about. I even have some terrible three-year-old poetry written about her. A little pixie brunette with big brown eyes and a wide, toothy smile … it’s easy to get into this girl.

“I’m talking to you, dork. Dannnngggg…” she said with her trademark open-mouthed smile, giving me a look that reminded me of Zoey.

A look that connotated hunger.

It was a Tuesday and I had entered the University library desperately looking to kill time. I had nothing at all to do.

I hadn’t gone to Beth’s place for three days and I sure as hell didn’t see Zoey. No trips to the bookstore either. I just focused on catching up on homework, starting on some papers, and laying low.

Bullshit, I was hiding out. Toma-toe, Tom-ah-toe.

And no sooner that I walked into the library, intent on doing God knows what in the computer lab, did I run into Misty.

The fire was still there a bit. She was a knockout, and she had the tight, petite look going for her. And I’m sure she could crack walnuts with her thighs. It was a gymnast thing.

Freshman year in college, I misread some signals from Misty when we had a chemistry lab together. I asked her out, and despite barely knowing her, got a “just a friend” speech. She added in a tale of a “really hot guy” she likes, and that was that.

I should’ve known. She was so far out of my league.

She still was.

Misty and I used talk and she’d drone on about all her boys, all the boys that were in love with her, and I just smiled and nodded. I was also her pet for a time. She’d have me follow her as she ran errands all around campus.

Of course I began to want her. My freshman crush. One of many as I desperately looked for a girl. Any girl.

Standing in the foyer of the library, I was looking directly at her mouth and this smile she was flashing, one I’d never seen before out of her. Not like this. I was trying not to sneak glances at her chest. Even though I’d be surprised if she even filled a B-cup, I kept looking.

I was a tit guy. Habits are hard to break.

But her proclamation that I was looking “hot,” was, honestly, shocking.

“Misty… you’re talking to… me?”

She rolled her eyes and grinned even wider, fidgeting slightly. Cavalierly, she reached her hand out to me, and unapologetically, ran her hand along my bicep as her expression became deadly serious.

“I remember you asked me out once,” she reminded me. “And I’m… willing to reconsider.”

Seriously? What in the actual fuck is going on with the world?

“Uhhh, thanks. But I have a girlfriend, Misty.”

At least I think I still do.

“Shit! Well, figures. Just… damn, dude!”

I know I blushed at that. All these compliments lately, whether it was from Misty or Zoey, were just too much. As I blushed, she leaned up and kissed me on my cheek.

“If that girlfriend doesn’t work out, find me. Friend me on MySpace, K?”

What the hell is a MySpace?

Regardless, she walked off, looked back at me, and smiled.

All these girls are nuts!

It had been a bit of a wacky few days. “Wacky” because nothing happened.

Let’s call a spade and spade – I was avoiding all these broads. Beth. Zoey. Any other temptress that pranced along.

Like Misty.

Any of these women were just trouble.

I thought obsessively about my episode with Zoey. What in the hell was that even about?!

The only explanation that made sense was that Beth put her up to it. She was testing me. To see if I would stay loyal in the face of temptation. It was obvious.

So, I was busted.

I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It made sense, since all weekend, Beth didn’t return my calls. Before I headed to the library, I was supposed to have creative writing class with her.

And she wasn’t there.

Yep, she was definitely pissed at me.

Christ, maybe I should have gotten Misty’s number.

As I scaled the stairs to the computer lab, I saw an old friend from high school, Jon, come down the stairs with a look of relief on his face. With his backpack hanging over his shoulder, he made eye contact with me and began laughing.

“Ho-lee sincan escort shit!” Jon exclaimed as he came down toward me, giving me a bro-handshake as we stopped in the middle of the stairs. “I thought the fucking succubus ate you.”

Before I could say anything, he grabbed my hand, focusing on my index finger, and sniffed it.

“Congratulations. Your finger smells faintly of pussy,” he said, mock impressed. “It no longer smells like the fromundacheese from your balls.”

I blushed and grinned, getting that he implied that I finally, at long last, had sex. “And how do you know what my balls smell like?” I asked him, matching his bullshit.

“Your mom told me,” he grinned smugly as he grabbed my arm and motioned for me to walk down the stairs with him. “Dude, I haven’t seen you at all. Pussy that good, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said sheepishly, somewhat lying. “So what are you up to?”

“Heading to my brother’s house. Just got done doing college algebra homework and I’m so over fucking school. So I was going to bring some beer and we’re going to hang out. Want to come?”

What else was I going to do? Certainly not study.

“Sure,” I said. “I need to get the fuck off this campus. Clear my head.”


I jumped in Jon’s car and we headed to his brother’s house. I’d known Jon since the 9th grade, and he was always this fat guy with zits. But he had a gross, sexually brash sense of humor, and for some reason, he always got women. It was mind-boggling. Granted, he never kept them, but still.

The way he talked to me with all the sex talk, he did that around girls too. I guess it worked. Then again, he also claimed he had a 10-inch cock. So maybe that was it.

His older brother Keith lived out in the boonies, far away from the city, which allowed him to do shit like shoot his gun in the open and bang his wife in the front yard. If possible, he was more of a pervert than Jon.

Since I knew where Keith lived, I could tell when Jon wasn’t going to his house.

“I thought your brother lived down the highway,” I asked him. “Where are we going?”

“There’s this girl I need you to meet,” he said with a shit-eating grin.

There was always a girl Jon wanted me to meet. This guy had a new target every other week. Mostly (as in 99% of the time) the girls were embarrassed that he was sniffing up their crotches. It was kind of cute, to be honest. But every once in awhile, the girl in question actually went for it.

He began turning down familiar roads. Then past the Northwoods Shopping Center. Then he pulled up in front of …

“The bookstore?” I asked, turning white.

“Holy shit, wait until you see this girl. She…”

“But this is where Beth works.”

“No way? Maybe she could hook it up?”

“Hell no. She fucking hates you. Remember when you told her that a hat she was wearing made her ‘look like a man-hating bull dyke?'”

He smiled proudly. “Well, she does have broad shoulders.”

“Fucker,” I muttered back.

Excitedly, he began to get out of his car and I just froze there.

“Hurry the fuck up!” he tried to command me. “Wait until you see this chick!”

I knew Beth was going to yell at me. She was going to see me and she was going to yell at me.

“I, uh, I’ll stay in car,” I told him.

“Dude, I need you as my wingman. I’m going to close the deal with this girl!”

Bros before hos, right? Jon was an idiot. I knew this. He always annoyed me. Made fun of me for writing poetry and all the other “pussy shit” I did.

So what if she was there? I needed to clear the air, anyway. I’ll just convince her that Zoey came onto me. Mostly. Right?

Zoey. Fuck, she could be working tonight too.

Jon popped the passenger door wide open, grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out.

“I don’t care why your vagina’s hurting,” he told me. “Come on!”

Slowly, I followed him into the bookstore as he blathered on, lost in my own mind. Worried about what Beth would say when she saw me.

But we walked in. And Beth was nowhere to be found.

Was she off tonight? I thought she worked most Tuesday nights.

I was half relieved and half disappointed. We needed to work this shit out.

“Dude, I see her,” Jon said as he smacked me in the shoulder, telling me to come with him.

Down the self-help aisle, at the end, I saw Zoey.

She looked straight at me exploding into a huge smile.

Then she started fucking sprinting towards us. Fuck, she’s going to plant a hug on me.

“There she is!” Jon said, and I gave him a double take. Before I could process it, she dove at Jon, giving him a huge, giggly hug.

“My friend!” she said to Jon as I no doubt had a wide-eyed look on my face.

Just what in the hell is going on?

As she held him in an embrace, she looked at me over his shoulder, glaring up ankara escort lustily with her big blue eyes and blowing me a kiss.

All thoughts of Beth were gone. Mostly because this one move of Zoey fucking hugging Jon scrambled my damn brain.

She climbed off him and Jon wiggled his eyebrows in quiet celebration, telling me wordlessly to check his girl out.

His girl? Whatever.

“Zoey,” Jon began, “I’d like you to meet my fr…”

“…Oh, no need for introductions,” she said, smiling widely at me. “We’ve met.”

Quietly, and slowly, she moved in to kiss me on my “cheek.” I use the word “cheek” loosely, since she planted her bright pink lips a half-inch away from the corner of my mouth. Her slow approach made the kiss very tender.

“How’s my sensuous man doing tonight?”

I felt a chill of fear and excitement rush up my spine. She used her private pet name for me … around somebody else! Plus, the look on Jon’s face, which had descended into pure shock, was priceless.

It was his turn to have his brain scrambled.

“Hi Zoey. How’s my second-favorite girl doing?” I was beaming with pride. Ever since I met Jon, he had made a habit of intercepting or distracting any girl I was into. It was my turn.

I don’t care what anybody says – cock blocking is FUN!

“I’d be doing better if I’d actually seen you lately,” she said, her bottom lip stuck out in a full pout. “You were supposed to come over. And help me. With my bed.”

Jon’s shock doubled. I immediately figured out what she was doing. We were going to mind fuck Jon.

“I’m sorry, Zoey,” I told her with artificial confidence beaming in my voice. “I suppose I left it a mess the last time I was in your room.”

Zoey laughed heartily. “Yeah,” she giggled. “Things did get kind of out of control.”

This girl is pure evil.

“Wait wait. Back the fuck up!” Jon finally interrupted. “You two?”

Zoey and I looked at each other and smirked. Which of us was going to answer? We tried to discuss it with our eyes. Finally, she squinted her eyes at me as she held her smirk. She was going to take this one.

“Well, him. Me. His girlfriend,” she said, biting her lip and looking at Jon. “It’s quite the arrangement.”

Jon just looked at me. I shrugged and blushed. Technically, Zoey answered the “You two?” question with complete truthfulness.

“You mother…” he began to say to me before Zoey interrupted.

“My break is coming up,” she said to Jon in a girlier-than-normal voice, batting her eyelashes. “Buy me a frappucino?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed happily, eager to drop this awkwardness and do her bidding. He had to be on his best behavior. As I said, it was cute. “I’ll get you a mocha, no whip. Just how you like it.”

“Perfect,” she said before sidling up to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Maybe next time, we’ll incorporate the whip.”

His eyes got gigantic, and excitedly, he ran off to get her coffee.

As he left, she just looked at me with a satisfied grin. “You know Jon?” she said innocently. “Small world.”

I just shaked my head at her. “You’re pure fucking evil, you know that?”

She smiled back with a “who, me?” expression, and again, she moved to me, giving me another soft kiss, closer to my lips now. This time, it wasn’t for the benefit of Jon.

“I’ve missed you. We’ve missed you.” she told me, her hands on my chest. “Beth would love to see you tonight.”

I looked at her incredulously. “Uh, Beth wants to see me?” I asked sheepishly.

“Uh, yeah!” she said as if I was an idiot. “As you told me numerous times, she’s your girlfriend,” she said with a knowing look.

As she paused, my shoulders lowered as I was reminded of what I did. What we did.

“Besides,” she continued, “she’s been sick since Sunday. I’ve covered her shifts for the past two nights. And you haven’t even checked on your girlfriend.” She jabbed her fingers into my chest. “You’re a bad, bad boyfriend.”

Her words, like most of the shit she said, had a double meaning. She was right. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend. In more ways than one.

“I tried calling,” I said to explain myself. “But she …”

Jon suddenly returned back, interrupting me, and presented Zoey with her frappucino. “Got your coffee, babe,” Jon said proudly. She thanked him by running her hand up and down his arm as she took a sip.

“Guys, I’m going to clock out,” Zoey said. “Meet me in the lounge in five minutes. Both of you.”

She smiled wide and walked away as Jon and I shuffled our ways to the lounge. In that time, he grilled me on Zoey. He wanted her bad. And he was on a need-to-know basis, so I told him little to nothing. Because it was more fun that way. Bro code be damned.


“You’re obviously taken, so don’t fuck me, you cock blocker!” Jon said with a tone of seriousness. I just sipped on etimegut escort my own frappuccino. “Yeah yeah yeah,” I muttered.

We had been sitting for five minutes and Jon regaled me on how she and him met. He works at the movie theater and he’d seen her come in a few times to see movies alone. She asked if he would let her in for free, which he predictably did, and thus began a pretty regular free trip to the movies.

In his version, though, she was hot for him. Again, it was cute.

She was taking advantage of him. How could he not see it? But, he was into her, and ignorance is bliss I suppose.

She finally strolled up, pulling a chair up to the small table made for two. She parked it on the side and her knees touched us both. Jon immediately flashed a grin and paid 100% attention to her.

We made small talk for about two minutes, in which time I think Jon volunteered to do three different things for her, ranging from changing her oil to buying her a skirt she mentioned she had her eye on. She just thanked him with a flirty smile.

She really is evil.

The whole time, I stayed quiet, lost in thought. I really should be livid at her. I breathed easy that Beth was just sick the past few days. That’s why she missed class. Nothing personal. No harm, no foul, right?

Then I thought about why Zoey did what she did during the moving day. If it wasn’t an elaborate hoax to test my loyalty to Beth, then what was it?

I noticed her interacting with Jon. The way she did it was so cold and calculating.

She was ready to bleed my poor buddy for every cent he was worth and every spare minute he had. All in service of her.

Was she doing that with me?

She had never asked me for anything. Not once. The only thing that came close was the moving incident, but Beth asked me.

I never gave Zoey anything. She only gave things to me. Like the book I had yet to open a second time. And I suppose she gave me a handjob, which is technically altruistic.

Seeing how she is with Jon, even if she is manipulating him, she’s obviously outgoing and confident. That’s part of her allure, I suppose. She’s confident. And confidence is contagious.

And Zoey was contagious. She was like a beautiful disease.

But there’s no motivation for her to do with me what she has. She gets nothing out of it. Except me.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Zoey really does like me.

I sat back and wrapped my head around that. Zoey. Likes. Me?

“Something just made him excited,” Zoey said to me suddenly with a shit-eating grin. “Thinking about me in a bikini, Shakespeare?”

“If he’s not, I am,” Jon said before I could say anything.

“Nothing like that,” I said, trying to give Zoey a knowing a grin. “Uh, I, uh, just thought of something funny.”

She gave me a crooked look, searching me like I was a math problem she was trying to figure out. And it certainly wasn’t calculus.

“Bullshit,” she said, her eyes squinted. “I know a horny look when I see it. That is to say, I know your horny look.”

Then I felt a finger tap against the head of my dick. I reflexively flexed my cock, noticing that I apparently tented down my pant leg to my full apex. I looked up as Zoey giggled, biting her lip.

Fuck, here we go again.

“Seriously?!” Jon gasped. But we both pretty much ignored him.

“I … I … I’m not horny,” I said, panicking inside but trying to play it cool. “Seriously, it was just something funny. It was a rerun of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ I saw the other day. Carlton’s a riot.”

Zoey gave me a confused look that shouted “bullshit” to me. As if to prove her point, she wrapped her hand around my cock head and squeezed.

Not again! I was in this weird place where I couldn’t win. I could’ve squirmed away, which would have been the thing to do, but Jon was sitting right here. And, overflowing with jealousy, he was watching us like a hawk.

So, that option was out.

I could say something. But, similar problem. Nobody could know what was going on under this table.

Then, there was the option of doing nothing. I sit here, take it, and let her continue to rub me. And hope it ends soon.

But, disastrously, I was so fucking turned on by Zoey that I couldn’t help being at my apex of hardness, probably twitching as my cock ached for release, which would do nothing but encourage her.

Paralyzed by inaction, of course I took the final option. And as I would later find out, it did fucking encourage her.

Mercifully, though, she snatched her hand away from my cock quickly as one of her co-workers approached our table. It was her manager, an older woman named Sheila.

“Zoey, things are pretty dead tonight,” Sheila said. “Since you’re just covering for Beth anyway, if you want to clock out early and take the rest of the night off, you can.”

Zoey looked at both Jon and myself, then once again squeezed my dick and gave us both devilish grins. “Sure, Sheila,” Zoey announced. “I’ll take off.” She squeezed my cock head even harder this time. “Thank you.”

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